Adjustment

The day the child leaves home to attend school is a crucial turning point in their growth. They are called to adapt to a new life with new ways of socialization and new discipline rules.

All children need enough time to adjust to their new circumstances. Some will adapt quickly while others will take more time. However, the intensity of this adaptive period does not depend only on the personality or the age of the child, but mainly on the parents themselves. The new reality in the family life, which begins when the child goes to school, must be governed by joy and calmness. Parents must first prepare themselves. Ponder over their feelings and insecurities as well as share any fears and doubts. School sets the beginning of the independence of their child, in order to become an autonomous and independent member of society. If they are not ready for this new journey, it would be good to postpone it, but if they have no other choice, there are some steps that they must follow in order not to pass their anxiety to their child.                                         

A first step is choosing a school. It is very important that the premises of the school and its staff inspire confidence in them. That is why the choice of school should be done with care, because otherwise an unexpected change of school will affect the child's psyche and self-confidence.

Then follows the preparation of the child themselves. Parents must explain to the child -without complicated and unnecessary words- that school is a joyful event for the whole family. That it is something normal, occurring to all children's lives and of course that it is something non-negotiable. Emphasize the good things the child will gain from this process, such as making new friends. It is very helpful for parents and children to reenact the daily preparation for work and school and as well as the coming home together and as a family sit down to eat and play.

The first visit to the school is also essential and very important. Parents should carry an air of confidence and joy. Don't force the child to visit the whole premise from the beginning if they don't want to. Parents need to feel calm and every time their child moves away from them to play with a toy, they should not follow them unless the child ask them to. It is very important that they let child act freely and spontaneously. The responsible pedagogues of the school will discreetly approach the child and distract them. In this way, a relationship of trust with the new space will be slowly built.

We suggest that during the first visits to the school, one of the parents should be present - and do not attend work the visit is in the morning, otherwise the visits should take place in the afternoon. On the big day of separation, the morning awakening should take place a little earlier so that the child and parents can follow their morning routine in a pleasant atmosphere and go to school without the pressure of time. They should not be hasty, because this will make the child nervous. When they arrive at the entrance of the school, they should be ready for any reaction from the child because they may cry, shout or hit them. It is the teacher's duty to reassure the child and take them from the parents, and this is because the child should not under any circumstances feel that the parents are abandoning him. During the parent's stay at the school, they (the parent) will be given instructions -based on their child's reaction- about how long they will need to stay, etc. When the time is right, with a firm and clear voice, the parent will inform the child that they will be leaving for work as well as (who and) when they will pick the child up in what specific time, for example "I will come to pick you up after lunch", if the child has lunch at school. And of course, the parent should be consistent with their word. With this way the child will gradually calm down, be less anxious and gain confidence.

A parent who leaves their child at school and have tears in their eyes or a guilty and distressed look (the parent), is seriously damaging their child's self-confidence. The child senses that something is wrong and because they are not able to decode it, they feel fear, insecurity and intense anxiety about what will happen next.

At the time of the child's departure from school, the parent should smile and be confident that everything went well. They should say to the child “See? I came to get you at the time I told you! Let's go home now, tell me how your day went and I'll tell you about my work too!". In this way, the child will feel that everything is normal and that what they experience have a beginning and an end.

Finally, we should emphasize that the smooth transition of the child to the school life, depends on the parents themselves. You should give the child time and arm yourself with patience and understanding. However your child might lash out, and that is to be expected. After all, these emotions they experience (separation, fear, loss, anger, etc.) are the getaway of the emotions they will need to manage again in their adult life. That's why you shouldn't be scared, but rejoice every time they express themselves!!!!!!

The goal of a good Kindergarten is for each parent to get to know and experience the school reality for a while and be sure of the right choice. This way, they will develop positive feelings that they can easily pass on to their child.